Calendars

Like anyone who donates to worthy causes, I get buried in calendars.  But do any of them feature a redheaded pinup gal in a jewel-green gown, Barbie doll(tm) heels and full-metal bra, wielding a kind of freeze ray? Accompanied by the text:  "Dead was the machine god..."?  So I am forced to buy calendars, because really.  Let's see, how can I link this to the library?
Some books have been made into calendars!  I am sure you would enjoy reading these books. Apparently the calendar people did.
The Lord of the Rings.  (There were calendars before the movies came out.  I believe I have one from the 1970's.  Neener.)
1,000 Places to See Before You Die
Life's little instruction book / by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
Under the Tuscan sun : at home in Italy / Frances Mayes.
Pride and prejudice and zombies :

For a look at Science Fiction Pulp illustration, try:  Frank Kelly Freas as he sees it

Irresolute

Anyone who writes a blog, column, what have you is required by law to produce a blurb about New Year's resolutions. Will I violate this?  Certainly not.  So have you made any resolutions this year?  Me neither.  I don't make them for various reasons, one being that I can't remember them.  But I have great admiration for those of you who do make resolutions. It takes time and thought to choose resolutions then enormous effort to follow up.  Well, maybe I'll ...organize something!  But those 10 pounds?  Unless the fat-repo fairy shows up I'm afraid the 10 is my friend. 
Here are some books for those who wish to just enjoy being themselves.  None of them tell you to stop whining, get off your keister, just do it, etc.  Revolutionary!  As opposed to resolutionary!  Fun-ny.

Lighten up : love what you have, have what you need, be happier with less / Peter Walsh.

How now : 100 ways to celebrate the present moment / by Raphael Cushnir ; photographs by Pornchai Mittongtare.

Joy, no matter what : make 3 simple choices to access your inner joy / Carolyn Hobbs

Tax Forms at Your Door

In the weeks to come, you may be referred to us for tax forms. We don't have 'em.  Not in any of our six locations. You can come in and use our computers. We'll get you to the site where you can find the forms online and then you can print them off!  At a mere $.10 per page.  BUT, did you know you can Order Tax Forms by Phone and have them mailed to your door! That still works!  Enjoy the comfort of your own home and let the papers come to you. 
To order forms:
From the Feds, dial 1-800-829-3676.
(The recording asks you choose a language, then will talk about downloading from the internet, but press 2 and you start the form-ordering process.)
From the State of Iowa, in the Des Moines area dial 281-3114.  (They'll mention online forms a couple times but press 2 and persevere!)
If you're calling from outside the Des Moines area dial (800) 367.3388.  It works the same as the above.
I personally tested these telephone numbers on January 7 and they worked.  So far so good.  Dial away!

There is more information on our Tax Pages.

bigger Bigger BIGGER smaller Bigger

We're talking about Des Moines's population.  I'll bet the residents in 1850 did not forsee that Des Moines would be so HUGE.  In comparison anyway.  And look at the dark decades of the 60's and 70's when the population dropped. Did we spring a leak in the direction of the suburbs?  Then the population increased in the 80's and 90's when Des Moines was fairly well hemmed in on all sides.  Statistics.  Can't understand them, can't make 'em up.  Well if we do we should stop that.  Here are so many statistics you can just wallow in them:
Population of the City of Des Moines:
1850     502
1860     3,965
1870     12,035
1880      22,408
1890     50,093
1900     62,139
1910     86,368
1920     126,468
1930     142,559
1940     159,819
1950     177,965
1960     208,982
1970     201,404
1980     191,003
1990     193,189
2000     198,682

Source:  Iowa Data Center. Total Population for Iowa's Incorporated Places: 1850-2000

She Really Liked Snow

And fairies?  Here are a few lines from poet Sara Teasdale's "Snow Song"

Fairy snow, fairy snow,
Blowing, blowing everywhere,
Would that I
Too, could fly
Lightly, lightly through the air.

Teasdale won the first ever Columbia Poetry Prize (later called the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry), in 1918.  Which means she won a Pulitzer before there were Pulitzers!  And isn't this just the most cheerful thought for winter?  BONUS: Can be sung to the tune of 'Pony Boy'.  If you drop the second lightly.  Which I did.  
For more:

The collected poems of Sara Teasdale.
Source: Contemporary Authors Online, 2001 as reprinted in Biography in Context

Old TV with Very Physical Comedy

WHO-TV will "soon" be adding a new channel, "Antenna TV on 13.3".  Looks like they will air OLD TV shows.  Like my friend's favorite "The Three Stooges".  We discussed the classic moments that appear in many of the episodes: 
Curly (the bald one) lies on the floor and runs around in a circle while crying woo woo woo woo woo.  Curly leaps up and down in an 'I'm a horsey' manner and slaps his face from forehead to chin crying woo woo woo woo woo. (Curly's a little high on the bonkers meter.) There is always an argument and often Moe (bowl cut) will grab a Stooge's nose and slap it in a downward motion.  Apparently this hurts.
Curly also says 'Soitenly' in a loud but cheerful voice. (My friend had to research the spelling). And I almost forgot nyuck nyuck nyuck nyuuck nyuck!  And "Oh!  Wise Guy!"  As you can see Curly is a lexiconical force to reckon with.  Ah, Stooges.  They ain't pretty, but they're willing to fall down a lot.

Our collection of Three Stooges productions.  An embarrassment of riches.

Fresh as a Lily

Lily Tomlin is one of my favorite comedians.  We used to play a record album of her act, sections of which  became part of our family repertoire.  Ahem:  an older couple has a long, repetitive discussion concerninng the merits of banana cake vs 'that choclit kind a cake'.  This is punctuated by their teenage daughter screaming 'Please stop talking about that caaaaake!'  Trust me, it's hysterical.  In the cake-free play The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe / by Jane Wagner Tomlin voices these rather eccentric concerns.
" I worry about reflective flea collars. Oh sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark.  But so can the fleas.".
" I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu.".
" I worry whoever thought up the term 'quality control' thought if we didn't control it, it would get out of hand."
Someone has to puzzle out this stuff and I'm glad it is Lily.  She does it so well.

The search for signs of intelligent life in the universe / by Jane Wagner

Utah What?

On January 4th, 1896 Utah became the 45th state of the U.S. of A. Utah is named for the Ute Indians of crossword puzzle fame.  Ute turns up way more than 'eft' which is some kind of amphibian baby.  Anyway, Ute means "people of the mountains", which makes sense because there are about a zillion mountains in Utah.  (According to the US Geologic Survey there is no definition of a mountain, or specified elevation. I checked.) The state emblem is a beehive.  I immediately pictured the sky-high coiffure, but it's the beehive with bees, silly.  The state motto is almost as short as the state's name:  Industry.  That's all they need.  What kind - doesn't matter.  All Industry all the time. But it does go with the bees, busy as they are.  Temperatures:  the coldest it has ever been was -69 degrees on February 1, 1969.  The lucky lucky place that enjoys this record?  Peter's Sink.  I thought it was a town, but it's an actual sinkhole. Now everyone will want to move there. 

Source:  Time Almanac with Information Please

2011 and We're All Open

Ah, I miss 1/1/11 already.  How quickly the days fly by.  Would you like some  words of wisdom to start your year out right?  Make your own!  Nobody knows you like you.
This poster generator takes some dinking but the results are pretty spectacular.  Have fun, fresh people!

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